viernes, 7 de diciembre de 2007

Distinción

I
Me encanta la ropa. Lo único que me impide convertime en una fashionista extrema es, simplemente, mi presupuesto. Soy una de esas personas que combina la ropa interior con la exterior, aunque la de abajo no vaya a ser vista por nadie más que por mí. Prefiero que los vecinos de mi edificio me vean salir de casa en camilla y con los pies para adelante antes que ser sorprendida en jogging yendo a hacer las compras. No comprendo la elegancia del atuendo deportivo: si voy al gimnasio, recorro las cuadras que me separan de éste a velocidad de correcaminos.
II
Sin embargo, el proto fascismo que ejerzo conmigo misma no suelo trasladarlo a las personas del sexo opuesto. Es más: siempre me produjo un cierto rechazo el hombre que presta demasiada atención a su aspecto físico, vestuario incluido. Esta es una curiosidad que aún no consigo desentrañar. De hecho, en el último tiempo descubrí que, entre los hombres que me gustaron, o de los que me enamoré, hay un elemento común: podría decirse, una tendencia.
III
T. se vestía como un asesino serial: aunque nunca hiciera suficiente frío, usaba una parka color caqui con capucha de piel que, como le quedaba demasiado grande, lo hacía ver flacucho y desvalido, además de peligroso. Cuando se quitaba el traje que usaba para trabajar, A. se ponía una de las remeras azul desteñido que atesoraba individualmente, aunque todas fuesen exactas. Mi Ex (El Ex, ya saben) era, directamente, una catástrofe ambulante del estilo: sospeché que estaba enamorada el día en que bajó a abrirme la puerta de su edificio vestido con uno de esos piyamas invernales con pequeños motivos estampados en marrón y puños anchos al tono. El pálpito se confirmó al notar que el pantalón le quedaba corto en la bocamanga, y que mis sentimientos no disminuían.
IV
De todos modos, yo nunca dejé de vestirme como a mí me gusta para adaptarme, ni traté de inculcar a nadie un modo de vestir. No creo en las parejas que andan por la vida vestidas de mellizos. Me provoca repulsión esa gente que suele verse los fines de semana ataviada con la versión femenina/masculina de la misma prenda: idéntica campera matelassé verde seco, la camisita en rosa o en celeste de falso estilo campestre, mocasines de la misma marca. Ni hablar de los que los domingos se calzan el mismo modelo de zapatilla high tech, cuando el único ejercicio que hicieron es caminata hasta la parrilla en busca de más chinchulines.
V
Con el paso del tiempo, una podría pensar que los gustos se refinan. Pero oh sorpresa. Hará un mes, caí víctima de un enamoramiento fulminante con un hombre al que no he vuelto a ver, y que –sin ser un hippie, un punk, o un adolescente en plena rebelión– se apareció en una reunión social de adultos con un pulóver con dos agujeros en la espalda. El ejemplo más reciente pertenece a la semana pasada, cuando asistí a una primera cita en una noche bastante calurosa. Al encontrarme con el muchacho en la esquina pactada, descubrí con horror que éste llevaba puesta una combinación de musculosa, pantalón cargo, sandalias, y riñonera (sí señora: ri-ño-ne-ra). Sentí entonces que por fin había encontrado mi límite. Y sin embargo, aunque el impacto inicial tardó en esfumarse, cuando me despedí de él en la puerta de casa ya se había disipado. Quedan advertidos: a este paso, mi próxima conquista será un fenómeno de circo. Yo, por supuesto, seguiré impecable.

66 comentarios:

rck dijo...

Yo también combino hasta la ropa interior, jaja, así que no soy tu tipo =P
Si me cambio la remera seguramente me cambie las zapatillas / ojotas para que combinen (si, tengo de muchos colores, y NO, no soy gay =P)
Pero a diferencia tuya, a mi me gustan las chicas que si les prestan atención a la ropa. Las chicas "nada" no tienen onda.

Itzia dijo...

Emmm... Creo que me criticarias a morir si me vieras, soy desaliñada por gusto.

Pero coincido en el gusto por los hombres de ese tipo, un dia me vi en la necesidad de seguir a uno solo porque traia rastas.

Bea dijo...

Yo soy medio pelo. Ni combino la ropa interior ni ando con ropa con agujeros. Y ellos, que la ropa no este rota pero que se caguen en la moda. Asi me gustan. Asi y todo, musculosa y rinionera...es un poco too much. La musculosa no seria esa tipo red, con agujeritos no?

EmmaPeel dijo...

Nena, si bancás riñonera, eso casi casi es amor

besos

Little Snail dijo...

Alice, lo del sweater agujereado me resulta simpático, pero el pantalón cargo y la riñonera ya es demasiado... igual te entiendo, yo también tengo una debilidad por los crotos, aunque tal vez tenga que ver con que solía ser así también. Ahora cambié y me visto más o menos bien hasta para ir al super, pero todavía sigo bajando a abrir la puerta del edificio prácticamente disfrazada...
Ah, y adhiero completamente a tu política de no inculcarle a nadie un modo de vestir. Estoy totalmente de acuerdo, las parejas de mellizos son terribles!!!

Besos!!

Alicia dijo...

Rck:
Ay qué divino. Tal cual: no me seduce que un muchacho tenga más ropa que yo...

Itzia:
me parece bien que sea desaliñada. siga así.

Bea:
Creo que la muscu de red me hubiese impedido quedarme: muy Tino de los Parchis (y yo odiaba a Tino).

Emmapeel:
vi la riñonera cuando sacó el dinero de para pagarle a la moza: creí que me desvanecía.

Little Snail:
A riesgo de andar por la vida con un disfrazado, le decimos no al mellicismo!!!

besos para todos!

LoLa dijo...

ajjajaja me pasa todo lo contrario... o no tan contrario, pero algo asi como vestirme bien y fijarme en como se viste quien camina a mi lado... patético
me encanta tu blogggg
besos

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sólo desaparecer dijo...

alice, creo q es como una forma de equilibrio, imagínese si su chico en cuestión tmb combinara calzones-medias-polera... demasiado, no?
aunq tampoco me imagino a ud. con alguien totalmente desastroso, sin estar enamorada. creo q el amor es lo q hace soportable un pijama de viejo!!!

Muppets de Balcón dijo...

Si un hombre se viste bien quita la gracia de cambiarle el vestuario (lo ÚNICO que se puede cambiar en un hombre y hasta por ahí nomás).
Yo estoy MUY a favor de la yoguineta (esos pantalones negros con puño abajo son lo más de lo más). Y descubrí con gran sorpresa en varias oportunidades que a más de uno le seduce el asunto. Un novio que tuve me contó, indignado, que más de una vez se comió un jean mentiroso y que agradecía mucho mi sinceridad de jogging.
También me contó que la prenda resulta casi irresistible porque destaca las pompis y porque esa onda de look de entrecasa “vamos a echarnos una siestita” les resulta irresistible.
Una salvedad: la yoguineta SIEMPRE entre cuatro paredes. Nunca a la calle más que para ir a buscar el diario.-

Alicia dijo...

Lola:
Por qué patético?
Graciassssss!

Sólo desaparecer:
quizás sea cuestión de equilibrio...y sí, con el del piyama de viejo (y muchos conjuntos terribles más) era amor.

Muppets:
Tengo yoguinetas y las uso delante de hombres y todo, pero no voy a lugares vestida así. Y tengo una traba que me impide intervenir sobre el vestuario del muchacho (en cambio, con hermanos o amigos me desato, peor que Trinny y Susannah).

besos a todo/as.

Martín dijo...

Que lindo leerte dos post seguidos Alicia! ¿Riñonera? Hace unas horas decidí tirar ese montón de cosas que uno guarda en los cajones sin saber por que: encontré 2 o 3 riñoneras y fue muy raro, verse a uno a los 15 con esas cosas a la cintura! En fin... creo que tengo un lado maniatico por la vestimenta a veces!

Besos y veremos como evolucionas hasta el fenomeno de circo!!!

Martín dijo...

Vengo a decir que me diste un terrible escalofrio con lo Patti y Zelma, Alicia! brrrrrrrr

(veo que no soy el unico insomne)

Rodrigo dijo...

Bueno, es una simple ley de la física:

"Los polos opuestos se atraen"

¿Cómo podrías evitarlo?

Nefertiti dijo...

Este blog está MUY BUENO, me encanta tu forma de escribir. Pasaré seguido.
Felicitaciones!

Alicia dijo...

Martín:
llegaré al freak, tenelo por seguro. gracias por pasar!

Rodrigo:
tenés toda la razón ¿cómo podría?

Nefertiti:
gracias! te esperamos...

abrazo y beso

curdafloja dijo...

Adhiero a un comentario anterior. Perdonar la riñonera es amor.

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